


Second Guesses

by procrastinating_is_a_hobby



Category: Killing Eve (TV 2018)
Genre: Alternate Ending, Eve's POV, F/F, I just want them to be happy and together, POV First Person, and not being completely sane, but still kicking ass, s01e08
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-22
Updated: 2019-04-22
Packaged: 2020-01-23 20:27:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 794
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18557248
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/procrastinating_is_a_hobby/pseuds/procrastinating_is_a_hobby
Summary: Eve really wants to stab Villanelle, or does she? Either way, somethings got to give...





	Second Guesses

**Author's Note:**

> This is set right at the end of season 1 episode 8. I wrote this before season 2 aired but never got around to posting it.  
> I don't own these characters and I am making no profit from this.

The blade of the knife felt like it was searing my skin, as if it would leave a mark on my back where I’m laying on it. It would serve as a permanent reminder of when I had the chance to stop Villanelle, to stop whatever it was that was going on between us, but didn’t. To my utter irritation I can’t help thinking that if I did kill the blond assassin beneath me, that I would be worse off and would regret it for the rest of my life, and not just because I had taken a life but because I had taken Villanelles life and that meant I would never see her again.

Somehow, and I don’t know how, I had gotten the upper hand and managed to pin Villanelle beneath me, or did she let me? Either way, I was on top, but just holding the knife in place felt like it took more energy than I had at the moment. After all the searching, sacrifice, and if I’m being honest with myself, obsession, I just couldn’t find the strength to actually stab her. If only I could just curl up on this bed and forget all my problems and all these feeling I have swirling around in my head, forget that Bill was gone, that my marriage is pretty much over, but most of all, forget about these feeling I had for Villanelle.

Villanelle must sense that I’m about to give up, to let go of the knife, and she just has to push me one more time. “You can’t” she says, and by the look in her eyes she knows exactly what she’s doing. Damn her and damn her knowing which buttons to press. “I can” I hear myself say, and I sound more convincing that I thought I would. I push the knife just that little bit harder against her torso, her eyes barely widen, and I wouldn’t have noticed if I hadn’t been staring into them. Maybe I can do this, maybe I am able to actually push the knife into the assassin and end whatever this is between us but, I don’t want to.

I let the knife slip out of my grasp and fall to the floor. I can’t tell if Villanelle relaxes slightly in relief, or if I just want her to. It feels like the air around us is buzzing, like it could suffocate me any second, but at the same time I feel lighter than I have in a long time. I feel as if dropping the knife is almost symbolic, like I’m ready to accept whatever happens between Villanelle and I, even if that means she decides to kill me after all, at least that would bring me some peace.

It almost looks like she wants to ask if I’m sure, of dropping the knife or of giving in to whatever is between us, I don’t know, but instead she just says “I promised I wouldn’t kill you and I keep my promises”. I gasp and look into her eyes and all of a sudden, I can’t remember why I was fighting against being with her, it’s as if she is the only person I’m meant to be with.

I lean down, my face right above hers, our lips almost touching, I can feel her puffs of breath. “May I kiss you” I ask, she nods and lets out a breathy “yes” before I close the distance between us. As soon as our lips touch it’s like everything else melts away and there’s only the two of us left. Now that I know what it’s like to kiss Villanelle, I don’t think I will ever want to stop. Her hands are lightly holding my hips but as soon as I deepen the kiss something in her snaps and she pulls me impossibly closer. One of her hands goes to my neck and the other my hair, as if holding me in place. She slips her tongue between my lips and takes control of the kiss. When the need for air becomes apparent, we break apart, and suddenly she’s flipping us over and hovering above me. Even though she now has me essentially pinned I know she won’t hurt me. I lift my hand and stroke her cheek and looking into eyes I say, “I promise not to kill you too”. Villanelle smiles one of the most genuine smiles I’ve seen and I can’t help but pull her in for another kiss.

I know that we have a lot to figure out and that our lives will be banging at the door soon enough, but I also know that we will figure all that out, but probably only in a few days.


End file.
